Ok, I NEED MY READER'S HELP!! I'm throwing my hands in the air and rolling my eyes. I just don't know how to interpret messages.

I would typically ignore this message completely because the writer doesn't have a single photo or word written in his profile. I see red flags all over the message. However, I have been told by others who have done the online dating thing and had success, that messages can be really awkward because neither side really knows what to write to get the conversation started and keep it going. Maybe i'm just hyper sensitive and overprotective??

WHAT WOULD YOU DO? Here is the message from "lovequest"
"Ok.. This is a little out of the standard protocol.

First, I'm not active on the site (profile way incomplete), actually traveling, had some downtime, and decided to just see what's out there.

In terms of me.. I'm very selective, intelligent, tall (6"4"), 215lbs, never married, no kids, work as a consultant, born and raised in MN, Black, a very good human being!

Now, why am I approaching you.. First it was the creativity that caught my eye (writer/photographer), second it was your looks (very attractive), and lastly.. It was the reference to being a strong woman, I like that!

Look, I know how this goes, this may be something you read and keep moving.. And I'm cool with that. However, if you're up for something intellectually stimulating, write back!"

Ok readers, it's YOUR turn. What would YOU do? Would you respond? If so, what would you say??

After being on an online dating site for three months, I FINALLY ~ FINALLY had a message that intrigued me. A message that told me he had taken the time to read my profile. He wrote in complete sentences and for the most part used correct spelling and grammar (hey, I can overlook some of it, we all make mistakes). He appeared to smart, witty, funny, and a tad bit nerdy (which I dig). I will refer to him as "Happy995".


Happy (for short) showed me he took the time to actually read my entire profile. He inserted his sense of humor and asked me questions based off of what I wrote in my profile. He offered me a glimpse into some of the things he liked without telling me too much (making me want to visit his profile and check him out).

I messaged back and forth with him a bit, and decided I was comfortable giving Happy my phone number. (which I am super hesitant to do because one google search of it tells you where I live, work, and play). We decided to meet for dinner with two of my friends. We had a very lovely evening. He was funny, but without being self-sarcastic (HAAAATE when guys are like), we seemed to have a lot in common, my friends thought he was cool, and we invited him over to their house for an after dinner drink. He was respectful in walking me to my car and didn't swoop in for a kiss (this wasn't even technically a date yet, it was a last minute invite to join me and my friends).

I decided to invite Happy out with my friends again the following week to celebrate her birthday. It took him THREE DAYS to respond to me. Apparently he hadn't seen my message. Ok, so tell me this. When you're first "dating" and "getting to know" someone, wouldn't you check your phone regularly to see if they may have texted you and you missed it? Especially after regularly texting for a few days? Whatever, I let that go.

We met at the restaurant, and again, he charmed me with his humor and the casual way he easily got along with my friends. We seemed to be hitting it off. I told him if he wanted to ask me out on a real date, I would say yes :)

AND THEN IT ALL WENT BAD.
He asked me if I would like to have dinner later the next week. I said yes, of course. He asked where I would like to go, and I told him to decide (he had talked about all the great restaurants he'd been to when we were out the first night). HIS RESPONSE??! "you could always cook dinner". WHAT?!?! BACK THAT BOAT UP. DID HE REALLY JUST SAY THAT??

I responded back with "LOL, you have so much to learn about me". This girl don't cook. And not for a fucking first date yo. Mr. Happy responded back with "I'm cool with PB&J" ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME???? part of the problem with texting is you can't read tone and context. But I'm pretty sure what I was hearing was "I want to come over to your house and get you naked". Which, admittedly, would be fine AFTER AT LEAST A FIRST DATE.

I ignored the last text the rest of the day until he said "hurry up Amy, where are we gonna go? It's in a couple hours!" UGH!! By this point I am so freaking annoyed I don't even want to meet him. But I chalk it up to PMS and decide to make the most of it. I told him a place and a time and we agreed to meet there.

The entire date was so awkward. I realize I was already annoyed and PMSing as I arrived, but the conversations went nowhere. Where was the funny guy I met the other two nights?? Was he hiding behind the security of others?? I told him I was tired and crabby because he kept accusing me of glaring at him (which I really don't think I was ~ I can admit when i'm glaring, i've definitely been known to do it).

Speed to the end of dinner. The waiter brought the check in one of those books and stood it up at the end of the table. He said to lay it down when we were ready for him to take our payment. We sat and chatted in awkwardness for about a half hour before he asked if I was ready to head out. I said sure and he reached for his wallet, he sat his credit card oddly over the top of the standing book, signaling me that Happy wasn't paying for my meal. I reached for my purse, pulled out my wallet and look at the tab to see what I owed. He said nothing. The waiter asked if he should split the tab and he said YES a little too quickly.

Ok, so I am not out looking for free meals and I don't "EXPECT" a guy to pay for me. But when you finally ask me out to dinner, for the first time, just the two of us, wouldn't a gentleman pick up the tab?? I admit, it was a super awkward date, but that was just as much on his part as well as mine. Sigh. Am I totally wrong here??

And men say women are confusing.

until my next adventure......
~amy <3