Since I started sharing my online dating stories, I have been getting a lot of feedback from readers. People telling me to hang in there and keep with it; people telling me that they are embarrassed to be a man after seeing messages I receive; people telling me to pay for subscriptions if I am serious about finding a good guy; and here's my favorite: the people on those sites are the bottom of the barrel and only looking for sex.
WAAAAIIIIIIT A MINUTE!!!!!!
I am one of those people on one of those sites! What are you trying to say about me??
I joined the site because I was tired of always being alone, I wanted to have someone (of the opposite sex) to hang out with, go to dinner with, watch a movie with, take a long walk or bike ride with, hold hands with, and yes, maybe even have sex with! (you were all thinking it, so I just went ahead and said it!) I just know that there are men that actually joined the site for the same reasons.
Perhaps the "good men" are actually just shy about sending a message. Maybe it really is all the creepers sending messages. Or maybe they really aren't creepers at all, but just come across that way because they feel awkward and don't really know what to write. I have only messaged a few men (because there have only been a few that I was actually interested in) and I haven't heard back from them! (well, I heard back from one, he told me I was too old and he wasn't interested but wished me the best of luck. Oh how polite!).
Well, I am not giving up just yet. It's just too fun to write about ;) I hope you continue to join me on my adventure! ~amy <3
Ok, so I realize that I am a photographer and that photos are important to me. So I want to make it clear that I am taking off my "photographer hat" here and writing as a woman on an online dating site. Ok? Ok!
First of all, and most importantly: USE A PHOTO OF YOUR FREAKING FACE. I don't care what your abs, chest, arms, or back look like. I want to see your face. I want to know what you look like. What are you afraid of?? Although I must admit, that the guy can not be prettier than the girl. I must be the pretty one in the relationship ;)
Secondly, try to take a decent photo of yourself. I may sound shallow in saying this, but I am sure I am not alone. If I don't like your profile photo, I move on. I don't bother to take the time to read your profile. If I don't feel any sort of connection from your photo, I'm over and done. You may be an attractive guy, but your photo sucks. Ask a friend to snap one for you if you're not able to do it yourself.
Third, have more than just ONE photo in your profile. I want to get to know you, see the different sides of your personality and character. If you have only one photo, even if it's a really GREAT photo, I may not make a connection with you.
Fourth, please do not use images of you with a harem of women hanging off of you. This is a major buzzkill. What do you think you're going to prove here? That you have some magnetism and charm that causes women to want to hang off of you?? If it's your sister, mom, daughter, write so in the description. I think it's cool you're a family guy. But not cool that you run with a harem. Just sayin'.
I personally have about 10 images of myself on my profile. Some of me alone and some with me and my dog (I want full disclosure up front that I am a crazy dog lady!). I am sure I missed some key points, but these are four that are important to me and I am sure to many other women in the online dating world as well.
I hope that you will continue to join me on my adventure! ~amy <3
Adventures In Online Dating | How NOT To Message A Woman
In February I decided to create an online dating profile to see what may or may not be out there. I had had several friends (quite a few actually) encourage me to get on a dating site. They said it could be fun and to give it a try. They said it was time to go ahead and start dating guys, if nothing else, meet them for coffee or dinner and see what I think of them.
So I created a profile with about 10 images of myself; an honest profile of who I am and what I do; what I am looking for in a guy; disclaimed that I am a crazy dog lady; and then sat back and waited. It took about 2 months before I really started getting any inquiries, and man was I not prepared for what I was getting!!
I am getting a mailbox full of messages something along the lines of "your beautiful. you have the most amazing eyes and gorgeous smile". That's it. Just a few words about how beautiful I am. yea, yea, yea. I know. I'm well aware. I've NEVER heard those lines before. What makes these men think I might actually message them back and go on a REAL LIFE DATE with them??? Did you even READ my profile or did you only look at the pretty pictures??
Some of the best (read with sarcasm) messages I have gotten (copy and pasted for full impact): "if you can KISS please reply !!!!! gorgeous !!!!!!" "to bad you are not into casual sex, that might be fun, but a bad night..... damn " "hi there how are you doing?beautiful photos.." "Hello your beautiful we should hook up this morning"
I would like to reiterate that these are the FIRST messages these people have sent me. Not very good opening lines, in my opinion. But heck, who knows, maybe they actually work! Maybe I am just missing the bus here!!
Anyways, I hope will you continue to join me on my adventure! ~amy <3
Each night we hosted a hospitality night and photoshoots in our Loft, and I was able to photograph some outstanding models, including America's Got TalentSeth Grabel, who has his own Vegas show at the Roayl House. I also photographed some Vegas Show Girls, a Vegas Belly Dancer, and our beautiful model Keely. We also hosted a photoshoot in Nelson, a ghost town, on Saturday afternoon with about a dozen awesome photographers.
I love spending time with my favorite photographers and friends, and I love learning more and more every year I attend. I love meeting new photographers, and networking and exchanging information and skills. It fuels my creative juices and always leaves me feeling recharged, (although this year it left with me a cold and cough as well LOL) 6 days of running full speed and little sleep take their toll on a gal, but I wouldn't trade it for anything!!! I can handle a little sickness ;) It made me long to come home and try out some new techniques and line up clients and models for new sessions and styles that I want to implement! It also inspired me to really kick up my Rock Star 101 teleclass, I know it's an awesome class and know how much it will help other photographers improve their business and up their game!! I am excited to start making some changes and start kicking some more ass in everything that I have brewing! Be sure to join me for the ride, because it's going to be EPIC!
While in Vegas I also got to play a little bit! Friday night Susan and Andy took me to see Motley Crue at the Joint in the Hard Rock Hotel. It was an AMAZING show, they really truly put on a great performance and I am so glad I had the chance to see them! Saturday night I had free VIP tickets to the Vanity Nightclub in the Hard Rock Hotel, and danced to the mixes of nonother than Jersey Shore's DJ Pauly D. I know it's cliche, but I was super excited to see him in action! The club was PACKED and I partied it up until 4 a.m. Vegas style!! A gal's gotta have a little play time before focusing on work in Vegas!!
All in all I had an outstanding trip and came home feeling incredibly blessed knowing I am surrounded by outstanding photographers and friends. Here are some images I created, I hope you find them inspiring!!! (an contrary to popular belief, I actually DO get work done and learn stuff while in Vegas, but yes, I also DO play while I am there!)
I have been crazy busy the past few months with a lot of Business Headshot Portraits. I am a big advocate for professional portraits for your website, business cards, marketing pieces, etc and I am not just saying that because I am a photographer ;)
Your photo usually is the first impression you will make with a potential client, and is so critical in today's age of internet. People have usually narrowed down their search of a professional to one or two online first, and typically with throw out any cadidates who do not have a professional photo on their site, and have instead opted for the "mug shot" up against a wall in their office.
Do yourself a favor this year and update your professional image with a headshot! We can accomodate you in the studio, or we will come to your business and photograph the entire staff on-location. We are also available to do product shoots, environmental portraits, and oh so much more to help you polish your look and presence online!!